when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Randomize
