Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
