i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
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