You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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