I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
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