Kiss
Puke
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
