one might say we're banned from that church
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Randomize
