Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
