I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
