were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Randomize
