i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
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