time to smoke my breakfast
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
