Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
