Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Randomize
