let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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