Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize
