come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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