I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Randomize
