none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
