I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
