I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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