that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
