Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize