16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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