yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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