i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
