we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
