I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
