I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Randomize
