i wish peter jackson would direct porn
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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