you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Randomize