Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
