The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Semen is not good for contacts.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
