I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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