When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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