Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
