In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I accidentally burped into my bong.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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