Kiss
Puke
No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
