I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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