Redeem this text for a blowjob
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
The power of my boobs compel you
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
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