I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Randomize