Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
