going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
