why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
I'm passing your future prison.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Randomize
