I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
