I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
