@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
