Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Randomize
