I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
