I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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