We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Send help, water and tortillas.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
