I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
