..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
i think im in europe. pls send help
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Randomize
