ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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