it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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