Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
