it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
