I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Randomize
