I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
