Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
